


Absolutely Smashing

by antikytheranComplicator



Category: Homestuck, Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, Fluff, Humanstuck, The Year Is 20XX, but then again i'm writing homestuck shipping fanfic, i may have geeked out a little too much with this, roxy plays melee of course
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 04:40:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5991970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antikytheranComplicator/pseuds/antikytheranComplicator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roxy beats John in Smash, but John wins anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Absolutely Smashing

     Roxy really didn’t want to admit it, but Kanaya and Rose actually had a pretty good idea for their Wizard and/or Vampire Fanfic Club fundraiser. A large part of her deeply regretted being roped into it, though. Anything that involved even the slightest risk of some creepy guy coming out of nowhere and beating her at a video game wasn’t particularly appealing to her. Not to mention the kissing.  


Kanaya and Rose’s scheme involved Roxy sitting in front of a Super Smash Bros. Melee setup at lunch with a sign reading “CAN YOU BEAT THE SUPER SMASH SISTER? IF YOU WIN, SHE’LL KISS YOU! ONLY $2 A GAME!” The idea being that, even with Roxy’s reputation as the school’s most skilled Smash player (and gamer in general), there would still be enough horny idiots out there to try their luck to turn a few decent profits. Badly written wizard fanfics apparently require a surprising amount of financial investment.

Sure enough, more than a few horny idiots came to test their luck. After four-stocking Eridan with Kirby, she beat Karkat’s not-so-skilled Roy by performing the sacred Knee → Falcon Punch combo-- a feat so impressive that for once Karkat wasn’t the only one screaming when it was over. After a crowd showed up, even Vriska decided to challenge her-- she performed a successful demonstration of a wide variety of Fox advanced techniques while simultaneously managing to horrendously fail at actually using them. Multishining eight times in a row isn’t enough to beat Roxy Lalonde.

But then, a startlingly familiar voice rang its way through the crowd to reach Roxy’s ears.

“Hey Roxy, can I play a round? I know how much your wizard fanfics mean to you.”

Roxy looked at John for a moment, and then at the crowd. She couldn’t bring herself to humiliate him in front of a crowd like that, and she definitely didn’t want to lose on purpose and kiss him in front of a crowd either-- though the thought of kissing John in a more private place had crossed her mind a few more times than she wanted to admit. Blushing a little, she thought quickly and came up with a plan.

“Sure, John, you can totes play! Just scootch yer cute little butt onto the chair and I’ll set you up.” She was really banking that the crowd would find that par for the course when it comes to Lalonde flirtiness and not suspect anything out of the ordinary. John, however, definitely noticed-- his faced turned nearly as pink as the skin he has picked for his chosen character, Young Link. Roxy never tired of how adorably awkward he got when she flirted with him. Not that he wasn’t adorably awkward all the time.

The game started, and Roxy managed to stun the crowd… by playing with the most boring playstyle she could think of. She had picked Sheik, the least flashy character in the game, and spent most of the match just walking and jumping around John, occasionally camping along the ledge. Sure enough, the excruciatingly slow-paced match led the whole crowd to groan and disperse, leaving John and Roxy left alone and ignored in an abandoned corner of the cafeteria.

After the crowd left, John set his controller in his lap with the game still running and looked at Roxy apprehensively. “Roxy, why did you go so easy on me for once? You never hold back when we’re just hanging out together.”

“Ah, you know, Johnny, I jus’ didn’t wanna mess ya up in front of the crowd! I can’t be too cruel to ya, can I?” Roxy let out a nervous grin.

“Well, the crowd’s gone, and you’ve still barely even touched me! It’s almost as if you actually want to lose, for once.”

Before John gould get his dorky brain in gear and put two and two together, Roxy burst into action, putting her Sheik into the highest gear she could force it into. In thirty seconds of passionate controller-thrashing and intense combos, Roxy ended John’s whole career.

He almost looked disappointed when she won.

“...Oh,” said John, looking a bit down at his defeat even though he had complained about Roxy going easy on him. “Part of me actually thought you were going to lose on purpose so you could… you know. What am I even saying, that’s incredibly stupid, and I--”

Before John could dig himself into an even deeper hole, Roxy closed the gap between her and John with a speed rivalling Dirk’s flash-stepping abilities and firmly planted her lips on his.

By the time she pulled back, John was completely in shock. He was trapped in a state of catatonic nerdiness.

“John, I’d kiss  _ you  _ no matter how much you lose at Smash, you dork!” said Roxy, with a grin happier than any time she embarrassed someone in Melee in her life, before pecking him on the cheek for good measure.

Soon after, John and Roxy had planned their long-overdue first date. Roxy couldn’t say the experience was anything other than absolutely  _ smashing _ .

**Author's Note:**

> this fanfic reminds me of that time roxy beat john in smash
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! All constructive criticism is welcome.


End file.
